Curiosity

I am in some level of high of disappointment and anger whereby, I used to wrote those on my blog, where people could not see, how angry am I at some point. However, writing this down might calm me a little and the disappointment is still there I suppose.

I should not write this down, the actual thing that making me this, I would rather wait for hours and become better... where at some point I will forget about it anyway...

I was in a good mood doing my works which almost done, but still lots to do, but somehow spoiled my mood and wondering, should I do the work or not to. Of course I should, I  have to hand in tomorrow.

I'm hoping that I could just leave it and forget it... and just go with it. At this time, where I really miss my cats.

Sunday, 7th of December

Just fully woke up from my bed, and I was thinking, shit I slept a lot since after I went out yesterday. Though, I have lots of work to do, for what was happened yesterday, give me a little strength today, for the next 2 weeks we gonna meet again, I hope it will not fade so soon....

For next week, I'm gonna have a trip to Johore for our koko activity (?) Which, we going to have marks there.... I don't know.. I'm a little happy and a bit sad bcs I don't have the chance to meet him in few coming weeks. Now, I know on the 10 - 14 week of lecture, will be a very busy week for a degree student, so I will take note of that. 

For the next semester, you know, I had registered subjects and there so should be 2 more subjects I have to add in next semester and the timetable for next semester will be packed well fuck. -.- 

kbai

Degree life including my love life

Been almost a semester in UPM, I thought degree life should be more likely.. umph not as busy as my foundation. But, you see it is more than that. Which I think, even the class is not as pack as foundation, but plus other activities, it is actually packed until night.

As my degree here, so do my love life. To be honest, he's the one I am very close to. He knew all of what I am doing and stuffs, and plus a little arguments and having him around and I'm happy  that. I am veryyy comfortable with him and I'm thankful having him in my life. Plus, having this just first stressful degree life and he's always there to calm me :D

I cant imagine my next 3 yrs of degree life. Though i can feel my confidence level improving, due to activities and my subjects thingy, we spoke lots of English So, I think its maybe improving too. Maybe, good thing though.

My love life is getting better than before, I love him just the way he is. He's soooo tall. and I am soooo short. Lol. Ermm, whiter than me, Idk this white sound so wrong, not tanned as me. Chinese look. good personalities. Responsible.

^^

Degree Programme!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelo, foundation checked, now is the seventh week of me as a degree student. Been busy as a degree student even though my class is not that packed as during foundation, but well, I'm a degree student, for coming 4 years! yay!

So, I am taking bachelor science in food service management, which, in the future, i will work as chef, restaurant manager, stuff, something like that. I am not really into cooking, so its kinda interesting anyway.

As for now, assignments, due dates, stuff, lots of thing to do, with my performance, too ( I'm joining zapin anyway ) well, yeah.....

I've been busy lately, with stuffs, I guess.

Not to much to write, but, I am kinda free now, I guess, and yeah.

I have a boyfriend, his name is afham. Ahmad Afham bin Ariffin

Foundation, checked!

So I've done with my foundation and the results came out few days ago and it was I guess, okay. So, next is for degree.

I told my mun what If I could just continue my studies at UNIMAS instead of UPM? So my mum said, well up to you but the procedure is kinda time and money- consuming so my mum said better just forget about it. Idk how's my plan had spread but seems like every single siblings of my mum's knew about it and supported me. So yeah, I tried to called UNIMAS about moving to UNIMAS but they said I have to further my studies at UPM first before moving to UNIMAS.

So there, I have to waste a year first so I think, well maybe not. But my mum trying to call someone if they could help. But that someone recommend me to stay as UPM is one of the best universities in Malaysia and also a research university

Well, to tell you the truth, after I called UNIMAS, I actually cried wishing that I really could just leave UPM for some reason. Idc if it is far, I can really survive. It's just some problems, which, I really hate to stay.

Well, nevermind. Just few years left and I really should, just stay at Kuching.

My thoughts....

Heyyy there,

So here, for a very long time without posting anything here I am with the bad side of me..... I don't want to mention here, you can know it yourself. I'm sorry for let you guys down for am I now. I really, don't have any reasonable answer for all the questions, as for my thoughts, I have something on my mind. Sorry for that.

If I am going on like doesn't mean that I am going to be a bad person, however i'll try my best to be a better person and not going to be that sexy and MAYBE less exposing myself like I used to be.

As I learnt to keep all my things in privacy, less exposing myself here. Yeah. I know I sometimes wanted the attention from others, InsyaAllah I will not anymore. Just, being myself.

Sorry for the new me, sorry for everything. Pray for me I would get good results and good luck to readers too for your future.

Again I have no answer, I don't want to be rude. Please don't ask me any questions why. But you can go on talk something about it tho, I know its really my fault. Again, don't ask why.

Don't ask why, I don't want to be annoyed as I might lose my temper there. I am very weak at that. Just giving warning, but I can listen if you really wanted to say something :)

Sincerely,
Myself

I am inviting my juniors to join ASPer.

Hello guys,

First of all, congrats to all of you for getting excellent results! Past is past, lets move on and think about your future. Alright here, before I start promoting my foundation here in UPM, I'm sorry for my English and grammar mistakes, I'm not very good in English but I'll try anyway.

So, there are many choices you have to choose after this. Foundation (Asasi) , Matriks , Diploma , IB (For overseas under scholarships such as Mara or JPA) and also, Form 6.

Matriks, Asasi and Form 6 all the same, depends on what subject are you taking. It's just the foundation for 1 year then Degree 4 years (which also depends on what foundation are you taking, for ex foundation in architecture ---> degree must be something have to do with architecture of course)

So, If you get very nice results, 9A+, Try to go for scholarship, they will sponsor you for sure. I think, JPA the best. Go on search on the internet about the scholarships. Don't be lazy. Try all the scholarships and apply ASAP, because last time I was too late to apply for the scholarships. TT_TT Others can try too though. Just try, if they call you for the interview just go.

So, now I'm taking foundation in UPM, no regret. Let me tell you about it.

Foundation in UPM? What foundation? 

ASASI SAINS PERTANIAN (ASPer)

What? Pertanian? NOOOO? Wait a sec, you better read first. Agriculture is actually just an addition subject here, and the other throughout the three semesters are Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Mathematics, and English (except for the last semester English changed to basic computer thingy). Agriculture is not that hard, very easy to score A as every test you'll get tips for the lecturers anyway. 

The best thing is, you're 90% guaranteed you can continue your studies here, because their priority taking students for bachelor is for us! For example like for 30 students for this 1 program, 10 students will be taken from ASPer and the other 20, imagine, Students from other Asasi, matriks, form 6 all over Malaysia trying to compete to get that place.

MINIMUM REQUIREMENT HERE.

Berikut adalah syarat-syarat kemasukan ke Program Asasi Sains Pertanian:

Memiliki Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) atau setaraf dengan mendapat sekurang-kurangnya LIMA (5) kepujian (Gred C) termasuk Bahasa Melayu.
Mendapat sekurang-kurangnya Gred B dalam mata pelajaran Biology, Chemistry, Mathematics dan Additional Mathematics;

Mendapat sekurang-kurangnya Gred B dalam SALAH SATU (1) daripada mata pelajaran berikut:      

Physics
Sains Pertanian
Pengajian Agroteknologi

        DAN

Kepujian (Gred C+) dalam mata pelajaran Bahasa Inggeris.

WHY HERE?

Well, because, there are so many choices for you here to further you studies in Bachelor! around 70 Programs all. Including Doctors, any types of Engineering!

For those, To whom still don't know what to do for degree later, you better come here. Plus, Like other University, their foundation are quite specific, for example like Asasi Sains Hayat, they only go something like medic etc and physical something have to do with engineering so, later on their choices for degree are not so much compared to this foundation. Also, they have to reapply UPU after they finished their foundation. Which they will have to compete with matrix students, form 6 students and also students that finished their diploma. Once again, I tell you, you're safer if you're here, as for sure, they will give priority for UPM's foundation students first.

Like other foundation, we also have practical. Lab practical for physics, Chemistry and biology of course. What ASPer students love the most is the practical for Agriculture! Its really fun! For the first semester we'll be going to visit ladang around UPM, its actually quite fun! I'm sure all the alumni of ASPer miss that the most and also for the second semester we'll be visiting factory like chocolate factory, etc.

THATS MAKES ASPER UNIQUE COMPARED TO OTHER FOUNDATION. 

Also, all the foundation students are given scholarships under KPT, which each of them will get around 1.2k per semester and for students from Sarawak will be given RM700 for flight for 1 year and for Sabah students is RM800.

Here are all the Bachelor for ASPer students. 

FAKULTI PERUBATAN & SAINS KESIHATAN

•   Dokror Perubatan 
•  Bac. Sains (Bioperubatan)
•  Bac. Sains (Dietetik)
•  Bac. Sains (Pemakanan)
•  Bac. Sains (Kesihatan Persekitaran dan Pekerjaan)
• Bacelor Kejururawatan

 FAKULTI SAINS

Bacelor Sains Kepujian;

• Major Biologi
• Major Matematik
• Major Statistik
• Major Fizik
• Major Kimia
• Major Kimia Perindustrian
• Major Kimia Petroleum
• Major Sains Bahan
• Major Sains Instrumentasi

Bachelor Sains Dan Pendidikan ( Kepujian ) 

• Major Biologi
• Major Fizik 
• Major Kimia
• Major Matermatik
• Major Statistik

FAKULTI BIOTEKNOLOGI & SAINS BIOMOLEKUL

Bacelor Sains Kepujian;

• Bioteknologi
• Biokimia
• Mikrobiologi
• Biologi Sel & Molekul

FAKULTI PENGAJIAN PENDIDIKAN

•  Bac. Pendidikan (Sains Pertanian)
• Bac. Pendidikan (Pendidikan Jasmani)
• Bac. Pendidikan (Bimbingan dan kaunseling)
• Bac. Pendidikan (Sains Pertanian)

FAKULTI KEJURUTERAAN

• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Awam)
• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Elektrik & Elektronik)
• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Kimia)
• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Pertanian & Biosistem)
• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Mekanikal)
• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Aeroangkasa)
• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Proses & Makanan)
• Bac. Kejuruteraan (Sist. Komp & Komunikasi)

FAKULTI PERHUTANAN

• Bac. Sains Perhutanan
• Bac. Sains Teknologi Kayu
• Bac. Sains Taman & Rekreasi

FAKULTI SAINS ALAM SEKITAR

• Bac. Sains dan Teknologi Alam Sekitar
• Bac. Pengurusan Alam Sekitar

FAKULTI PERTANIAN

• Bac. Sains Pertanian
• Bac. Sains Hortikultur
• Bac. Sains (Perniagaantani)
• Bac. Sains (Akuakultur)
• Bac. Sains (Sains Ternakan)

FAKULTI REKABENTUK & SENIBINA

• Bac. Senibina Landskap
• Bac sains senibina
• Bac Reka bentuk (reka bentuk perindustrian)

FAKULTI SAINS & TEKNOLOGI MAKANAN

• Bac. Sains dan Teknologi Makanan
• Bac. Sains (Pengajian Makanan)
• Bachelor Sains ( Pengurusan Khidmat makanan)

FAKULTI PERUBATAN VETERINAR

• Doktor Perubatan Veterinar

FAKULTI EKONOMI DAN PENGURUSAN

• Bachelor Ekonomi
• Bachelor Perakaunan
• Bachelor Pentadbiran Perniagaan

FAKULTI EKOLOGI MANUSIA

• Bacelor muzik ( persembahan muzik )
• Bacelor Sains (pembangunan manusia)
• Bacelor pengajian pengguna
• Bacelor sains ( pembangunan manusia dan pengurusan)
• Bacelor sains (pembangunan manusia dan teknologi maklumat)

FAKULTI BAHASA MODEN DAN KOMUNIKASI

• Bacelor komunikasi

BACELOR SASTERA

• (bahasa dan linguisitik melayu)

BACELOR SASTERA (bahasa Asing)

• Pengkhususan bahasa perancis
• Penkhususan bahasa Jerman

FAKULTI SAINS KOMPUTER DAN TEKNOLOGI MAKLUMAT

• Pengkhususan Sistem Komputer
• Pengkhususan Multimedia
• Pengkhususan Kejuruteraan Perisian
• Pengkhususan Rangkaian Komputer

FAKULTI PENGAJIAN ALAM SEKITAR

• Bachelor sains dan teknologi Alam sekitar
• bacelor pengurusan alam sekitar

FAKULTI SAINS PERTANIAN DAN MAKANAN ( BINTULU SARAWAK )

• Bacelor Sains Bioindustri

So here, I want to promote this foundation, as people always think its just for agriculture, NO, there're so many choices here and also UPM is also one of the top university in Malaysia and also the biggest University in Asia tenggara, Lol I think. 

COME AND JOIN US! :)

Ask dot fm.

Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllo blog,

Recently I was playing with this interesting apps ask.fm which people u might know or might not know ask you question anonymously or maybe not. Very interesting, know what people doubt about you but too scared to ask.

However, some people ask questions..... which kinda private. And there's one person, who asked me something private like she/he actually know what is happening with my lovey dovey situation now. "you're confused to choose him with another man?" oh my miss/mister. It is actually, quite rude asking that which I know you think I'm a bitch which is actually not.

Here, I am confused of his feeling towards me. Like Mizul said, I'm ego. But, for me. I'm scared to show how much I like this someone, or maybe love him since I'm not in official relationship with him. I don't want to be an annoying crush, because I hate if a person who maybe have a crush on me, MAYBE, will be that annoying. I don't want my crush to hate me because I'm annoying. Even I didn't show, I actually keep thinking about someone. No need to mention, but well, he just well, light up my day even when to just think about him, before. But now, hmm. I still do like him but .... I don't know him anymore.

*heavy sigh* I'm missing someone a lot, and I'm too scared to tell him how much I missed him.... I can't sleep at night when to think about what actually I did wrong...

If I say I move on,,, well I should,, maybe. I don't know. Can't wait to end my foundation course here. After that I'll let it all out .... I just, don't want karma comes back to me. I admit, I hurt someone's feeling recently and really, I didn't mean it. I am so sorry about that and I can't keep pretending. I felt very guilty everytime I says I love you without the actual feeling.

Hihi, whatever it is, I'm praying, I don't want to repeat the same mistake like I did, and I'm sorry for my wrong doings toward readers of this blog. I'm sorry. I want to clear my mind, and please, If you just have something private to tell/ask me just contact me directly through my twitter or fb or maybe phone number. I'm on my way to improve myself here. Thanks a lot, for you, for your support.

I'll take a moment to update.

Well, of course, again. Hi blog. Currently, I'm having my first test and tomorrow will be the last paper. All the paper before, going well. Physics as always fucked up. 

So, yesterday there was an education fair, for us doing foundation in UPM to well, know more about the faculty that we're interested in. I actually, didn't know what's best for me. But, I think, maybe, food service will be the right choice since it has to do with my family business thingy. Yesterday was quite fun which I also went out with someone. Well, never expect that to happen though. But, I didn't talk much, because I'm not really in good mood, well sorry. Watched Lego and lol shoooooooooo fucking cute. 

Actually, I just breakup with my ex, because for some reason actually, I don't have any feelings toward him and well, I can't keep on lying. Plus, we actually at first of the relationship should not be that serious as he wanted it to be just to avoid him from girls flirting over him. I was like, well okay. But then, the relationship turns out to become more serious as he told me... he's getting... to care about me. But me? Not even a bit. Tbh, I was pretending to care, and actually wanted to try to make it work but too bad, It didn't work. I actually don't even trust him that much.... So, the last thing I can do just breaking up. I felt bad at first, but I felt more comfortable with my feelings now. Not even fucked up. All, same as before. I felt heartless, I don't want to keep hurting him so I'll just leave and hoping he'll just move on and meet someone better than I do. 

I am single now, and not hoping any relationship for the time being, and let me finish with my foundation first because I really want to improve my result this semester. I hope I can do well. 

I am happy to whom I like. Even it is a bit awkward yesterday. I am actually happy one of my list actually came true. Thanks. ^^

MUET and my wish

Hello, I just got my Malaysian University English Test. So, rank from 6 to 1, 6(highest) 1 (lowest) So... I got 3. Average I should say


So.. Lately I've been missing this one feeling.. missing to be taken care of. Something like, Hey Aeliz have you eaten yet? I always reply with no because I eat when I wanted too. Since, I don't really like to eat much. So.. Someone *bijslap* why would you not eat?! Go eat something! and yeah, I have to eat something because of that. Or sometimes I got bijslap for no reason.. LOL ~ 


I miss night calls... I really do. I miss when the feeling talking to someone before going to sleep. When, we'll argue something stupid.. or maybe just telling how hard the day we had been through, or just talking about our past and share our feeling. Yeah It has been more than a year I didn't do that. Yay me?!

Of course, good morning wishes.. Every morning, through whatsapp or message.. Have a simple good morning text of course will make my day! Usually If I didn't receive any I would felt like.. I think he doesn't love me anymore.. LOL Yeah.. That's just me. But, I'll always keep that a secret until the time I blow up.


Arguments. Of course, all those fights. Well, to tell you the truth I hate get into this fight. But actually, It's just something that can improve our bonding right? I am a crybaby, I really am. -.-;


Skyping..... Skype is just one way I can talk face to face to most of my ex since most of them like live far away. I don't know why...


Those, relationships taught me... If I am going to have a boyfriend.. not really sure when.. But, If he says something like, Hey, I want to take care of you. InsyaAllah forever.. (means, promise... we can't predict the future right?) InsyaAllah, for the rest of my life and I'll bring you to Jannah... :') How sweet is that? And please, don't forget the diamond ring! *kaching kaching* and mini cooper on your side too, the least is BMW. Haha, Just kidding. What for sure is, who are sure they can take care of me, would just accept me the way I am.. matured please... and yeah.. My prinsip, If they accept me they way I am, InsyaAllah I will too. That is just me, I'm not too choosy I just someone, just love the way I am.. The money and stuffs, I don't mind, if they know how to just use it wisely and that would be okay for me, Since, I think I'm not going to live on my husband's money too much.. I'll just make my own money :3

Sad - holiday - happy - new sem

So yeah, It has been a very long time already since my last post. More than a week already. So, I actually had finished my final exam few days ago and currently in Kuching! My beloved hometown. So, I was actually quite stress with my final exams, well honestly I'm not hoping to get a very good results. Well, I hope I will but well. It doesn't seem like its going to be that good. So. I am just hoping that I pass all the subjects to live. Okay, Before final exam I was very stress, and during final exam too. 

So, few days back I went to Damai with my parents and my lil bro, well they want to bring me somewhere nice in Kuching since I'm only going to be here for a week only. Unfortunately, I was too dizzy at that time and felt like wanna puke. So, I ask my parents to go back because I can't stand all the dizziness and then I take off my lens and threw it away so I can take a nap peacefully in car without worrying about my eyes. That day was a public holiday so my parents bring me to the hospital since most of the clinic closed that day. The doctor checked me, he doesn't know what is wrong with me, but my blood pressure is quite high, which is 150/70 which is normally 120/80. The doctor said it might be because of the irregular sleep time and because of stress. Because my period cycle also fucked up. 

Since then, I am trying to fix back my biological clock back to normal. Too bad, I am not as before, can't stand staring my lappy screen too long. I wish I was like before, I miss slacking and stuffs.

I actually, spent most of my midsem not playing game but helping my mum and also... rest. Well, I guess better rest than playing games. I should get ready for my sem 3 mentally and physically.

Yesterday, I was video calling with my crush. So, It was quite suprising though... I didn't expect that but It actually made me happy. Thanks. 

Then, so my idea about the English Vintage actually didn't get the highest vote. How sad. The highest vote was Fire and Ice thingy. So, I am not really that sad. I am planning to get myself a red dress and wear blue shawl on that day maybe. Thats all for personal blogging today :D

Boyfriends, exboyfriends.

-REMOVED- :P

2 more papers

Huiiiiiiii, my exam just now, was quite okay I guess. A lot of people said it was not really okay. Hmm. I'm having Imsonia lately. I'm a bit worried, I don't want this to happen. If I am too tired the low blood pressure will come again haaa. I should take good care of myself since I'm far away from my family. 

I have this low blood pressure thingy when I'm stress, happened to me once. Real bad. 3 days in a row major headache then went to see a doctor and got 2 days of mc. Then no class for a week yay!

Whatever it is, I am going back in a few days. Yess, I am happy. Very happy.

Well, yeah. The entry that I posted about going back thingy and move to UNIMAS. I think, that's no going to happen. The thing is, if I sell myself like 20 cent, other IPTA is not going to accept me anyway. So, I'll just stay here for the next few years.

I don't really mind staying here though. 

Good luck for me for the next two papers! 

KUCHING I'M COMING BITCHHHHHHHHH.

The third dayyyyyyyy wee?

Hello, Last night I thought I can rape my calculus paper... The Calculus raped me instead. How sad.. Whatever it is, I'm done with calculus and next is Agriculture paper.... Many of them said.. SO MUCH THING TO REMEMBER... But me, hmm I don't know. I'm scared because I don't think it too much or maybe because... I lack of some things? Ahhh, I read it for the last time. Tomorrow. So, what I learnt today... I think.. I've moved on.. But, some of people than I knew. They don't. How sad, my crush is one of them. So here, just now my ex told me about his sad story.. And he's sad, he gave up on everything. Even 2 years passed. He still kept thinking about someone he once loved a lot. Hmm, I was wondering... how long do it take, to actually moving on? Why am I moved on so fast? Well, its good though, Because breaking up hurts a lot.

A LOT. A LOT. 

I am worried, about something tho. I am giving on hope on someone. Hah! I should avoid myself from getting hurt... Please, hope. Go away. Go away ~

I don't want this to be more serious. I don't want bad ending. I should pause it before or stop it before the end. Right?

Second day of the year?

Hi, so. This is the second day of the year. Yay? Too bad, I'm not really as happy as before. Because, usually I end my year with peace and celebrate it with my lovely cousins. So this is the first year.. without them. But, it went okay though. So just now I went for an English.. final test. There were questions about online games. As an online gamer, I was soooooooooooo damn happy and excited to answer the questions. But then... they were talking about... candy crush. I was like hmmmmmmm. Okayy.... The exam went ok except for some questions.. Well I am VERY BAD at comforting people if like they were sad or something. So, I screwed up that one. It should be answered politely and nicely and stuffs, but I answered as a bad ass. 

Actually, I'm not really in mood these 2-3 days. I'm not sure what the hell is going on with me. Just be careful, I'm sometimes... well. Nah I don't want to talk about it. So, yeah, Something is bothering me.. It is. I don't know how to get it out of my mind........

I think... I'm just giving on some ... 

HOPE...

 Well, I hope.. I will get over it...

 "Hoping on something will kill you inside"